When I posted about my mini-meltdown the week before last, I didn’t expect that I would get so many heartfelt responses back via comments and emails. Reading about other people’s experiences made me feel a truer sense of community around here. And also, just cheered me up. So, I thought I would share some of my favorites below in hopes that we can all take something positive away from this. Oh, and for those that don’t know, the question I posed was:
Have you ever felt jealous or threatened by another persons success?
“Yes! More often than Id like, but Ive been able to use it for great learning opportunities. What could I have done if I was presented the same opportunity (or how did I drop the ball)? How can I kick things up a notch and rock it anyway? What can I be doing better?”
-Brenda of Phydeaux
“I have never found that anything good has come from comparing my successes to others. I say that because I always feel horrible after and it becomes a really vicious cycle, so much so that I start to focus more on that then what I should be doing to further grow creatively myself. It hurts and its no fun, but Ive done it many many times, and I think everyone has done it at least once. Maybe the thing to remember in all of this is that no matter where we are in regards to success, there is probably someone who is looking at us and thinking that we are doing SO well. And maybe they have those pangs of jealousy towards us…”
-Shanon of My Fine Garden
“Yes, I often feel threatened by other people’s success. Sometimes, I feel like I am full of talent and ideas, and am waiting for someone to discover me… then I will see someone else who is as equally talented, but has been featured on some fantastic blog, and I become overwhelmed with self doubt and jealousy. Due to the fact that most artist’s online presence dictates their success, I often feel personally offended when other artist’s work is mentioned in an article or on a magazine. I don’t know why I feel this way. Perhaps it is because doing business online lends itself to so much anonymity that it can be difficult to truly understand where your work actually is perceived in this very public online community. Tweets, followers, and friend requests should not dictate someone’s successes and failures. Yet somehow, even after I have given myself a pep talk and convinced myself that it is not cool to be so threatened by other people’s success, I feel that green eyed monster just waiting so tap me on the shoulder…..”
-Stacie of Gingiber Snap
“Of course Ive felt pangs of jealousy here and there, but most of the time I try to be calm and remind myself that there might not be anything to be jealous of. I dont know the whole story. My version of success in my own life may be entirely different than someone elses success, and just because someone else appears to be successful and happy doesnt mean that what theyre doing would make me similarly happy. We all have to find our own way. It is hard when you see someone who seems to be doing what you want to do, and they seem to have found success with it, or theyve gotten to it first, but that doesnt mean you wont also be successful in your own right in the end.”
-Mallory of Miss Malaprop
“No, I dont think Ive been jealous or threatened by another persons success. When I see someone that got promoted at my job or a crafty chick making a living of for her indie biz Im like, “what do I have to do to get that?” It make s me work harder and not waste any time to get to the next stepping stone. I do get upset when I see that someones quality of work is less than mine and they are getting all of the props. So I just try to do better at getting my stuff in front of as many eyes as I can. If I do get a funky “˜tude itll only be for a moment and then Ill plan my next step. You cant be a hater. Haters get nowhere.”
-Jeanee of Dirty Laundry
“...I don’t think it’s a bad thing to feel jealous or threatened sometimes. It doesn’t mean you’re not happy for the other person (when it’s a friend you’re jealous of) or that you’re bitter/ I think it can also teach you something about what you want and what you think is important. As long it’s not dominating your thought about what you do and who you are, it’s okay, I think.”
“In a perfect world I would say, “of course not!” Guess what? We dont live in a perfect world and were not all perfect. Because Im human I have those feelings. Sometimes its so frustrating to see anothers success. But then when I stop and think and calm down I realize that lots of times it because theyre doing something thats working and I need to work on what I do to better it. (thats my nice thought to go along with the crummy thought. lol) So, cut yourself some slack. The feelings are always going to rise to the surface. Question is, what are you doing to do with them? They can sometimes be a positive thing if we channel them wisely (sometimes hard to do)…”
-Lori of Waterstone Jewelry
“It happens to me a lot but I usually recognize it and redirect it into something positive as quickly as I can. I think it comes with the territory in the creative world, that constant questioning of ones abilities and worth…”
Want more? Read twenty plus comments to this question here.
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