Secrets to Success: Rule #4

Its not always easy to start a business, build a blog readership, or quit your desk job to pursue your hand sewn line of womens clothing full-time. In fact, its almost always quite challenging at times. So, I started a series that tells it like it is”¦the good, the bad, and the completely “˜Girl, I cant believe you went there.” Secrets to success that have been learned along the way. Today, Tiffany will pick up where we left off last week”¦

This contributor post was written by Tiffany (Moore) Han.

I claim that it is my job, as a coach, to remind people that they are going to die. When my clients are waffling on an idea or dragging their heels, I often ask “What if you die tomorrow? Would you regret not moving on this?”

When I first started coaching, my party line was a little bit different: I wanted everyone to be happy. I wanted everyone to wake up to a life they loved. That sounds nice, doesn’t it? And who doesn’t want to be happy?

This strategy got me clients, and attracted a lot of different types of people. Slowly, after working with many of these people, I started to learn that I really liked working with some people while I really didn’t like working with others. Wait. You mean I get to choose?

I realized that I didn’t want to be the coach to all people – I wanted to be the coach to the people who were ready to get uncomfortable, who could hear me say, “one day you’re going to die” and not only be okay with it, but get inspired by it.

I’m Tiffany Han, and I want you to die happy. BAM.

For me, realizing that I only wanted to work with people who resonated with this idea was a major turning point in my coaching business. I was able to stop focus on trying to please everyone (impossible!) and really get to work with people who love my message and are excited to change their lives.

Which brings us to Rule #4 of Success Secrets:

Have an opinion. Care about something. Let go of being everything to everyone.

If you have a service-based business, this could mean taking a stand for the people that you work with: what do you really want for your clients? What fires you up? How are you willing to push boundaries for the sake of someone’s life?

If you have a product-based business, ask yourself the same questions. What fires you up? Maybe you feel really passionate about the environment and only use recycled materials. Talk about it.

Maybe you think that there isn’t enough beauty in this world and it’s your duty to make sure that everyone has access to beautiful, affordable jewelry. Talk about it.

Maybe you really believe in the healing power of art and want to be able to touch as many lives as possible by selling prints. Talk about it.

The things that light you up are the things that will make your business resonate with people, the right people. The recent election has proven to us that it is impossible to get everyone to agree on something, so stop trying. Instead, focus on what really makes you feel alive in the work that you do and let that be your greatest marketing tool.

image above created by Brittni Mehlhoff for papernstitch

Tiffany (Moore) Han, CPCC is a life & business coach for highly-creative people who arent living the highly-creative lives they want. Just yet. With provocative questions & hard-edged encouragement, Tiffany helps skittish someday-ers become fiercely focused creators “” and proves that dreams do come true. But only when you demand it.

17 comments | Click here to reply

Thank you very much for these posts, they are helping me a lot, well, to be brave because I’m not ! I realise time is passing by and that I have been stuck in mindset of fear of failure and the ‘i can’t do it’ syndrome.
Never doubt the power of the mind… good or bad !
Thank you and keep it coming !!

samantha elliott

Hi Tiffany. Although, I am very inspired by the secret rules provided by you. But I am a bit perplexed that, does these rules apply on the freshers or business starters. Because initially these rules have to be neglected, so that money flow can enter. I guess initially every business stater entertain every kind of client and consequent troubles. Kindly clear my thoughts, if I am wrong on the views.

Shilpa Nair

Great post by @tiffanycmoore and @papernstitch Secrets to Success Rule 4

(@thriftcore) (@thriftcore)

Excellent post! I always give the same advice when people tell me they’re “scared” to start their own business. Starting a business isn’t scary, dying before you even TRIED to accomplish your dreams is scary! Life’s too short to spend it doing anything else but living for your passions.

Wrote a very similar post here, hope you don’t mind me sharing:


I’ve been learning this recently! Thanks for this series, it’s been great!


Secrets to Success: Rule #4 via @papernstitch

Emily (@scribblesfromem)

So good. Printing at sticking up in the office. //

(@EtsyAU) (@EtsyAU)

These are things you need to read from time to time. I really like these series. I read them very carefully and they are inspirational to me, just having started a blog. So, thnx!


RT @teahousestudio: See how I went from “I want you to be happy” to “I want you to die…

Lexisworks Krieg (@lexisworks)

Wow, love this advice. So simple but brilliant!

Stephanie @ henry happened

Rule #4 of Success Secrets:

(@IndieMade) (@IndieMade)

I agree. We can’t spend our whole lives dreaming. We need to go for those dreams all out. You never know.. you could die tomorrow. At least if you gave achieving your dreams your all you’d have no regrets.


RT @papernstitch: Secrets to Success: Rule #4: It’s not always easy to start a business, build a blog…

(@a_grayland) (@a_grayland)

RT @papernstitch: Secrets to Success: Rule #4: It’s not always easy to start a business, build a blog…

(@babyboybakery) (@babyboybakery)

RT @papernstitch: Secrets to Success: Rule #4: It’s not always easy to start a business, build a blog…

(@afabulousfete) (@afabulousfete)

RT @papernstitch: Secrets to Success: Rule #4: It’s not always easy to start a business, build a blog…

Childwood (@dollicious_fr)

RT @papernstitch: Secrets to Success: Rule #4: It’s not always easy to start a business, build a blog…

(@liliestfolle) (@liliestfolle)
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